melaus

My last post on the blog was around a month ago. At then, it was the start of the summer vacation.

A month already, but seems like nothing have been done. I was very lazy that I didn't start on working on all of those academic work. Every people have been attending tutorial classes and doing their studies, but I'm still sitting here, doing nothing. Such a failure. Though, I enjoyed a lot of relaxing moments and experienced a lot. I went to Tokyo and I enjoyed it very must. It was really relaxing, and tiring.

Insomnia drives me crazy. I couldn't get into sleep for nights until 3 something. Luckily, not every day. I now understand how hard it is when you're really tired and sleepy, but couldn't get into sleep. Just couldn't sleep. My mind keeps on thinking, most of the time, about nothing, about some facts and truths that couldn't be changed.

I learnt that things in the reality would never turn out just as you have always been thinking of or imagined. Unexpected incidents and things would show up suddenly which put you into a chaotic feeling, perhaps it's shock plus sad plus don't know what to do. Everything is out of control. Things you want are gone from your hands, and are in else hands. Perhaps that life, perhaps it's time for me to rethink the world, the reality and just simply everything. It is time for me to change my view on things. I've been always thinking too positively, am I?

Life is complicated. It keeps on shocking and surprising you. You have no way to see the future, you have no way to have what you want. All you could do is to wait, wait for countless amount of time. That's all you could do. You can desire something, but don't expect to have it, if not, you'll always be disappointed and discouraged.

What should I do with it?

Alan